Hope
by mogoloco
Summary: Will struggles with his curse and love for Tesse


Will looked up at the sound of his bedroom door opening and saw someone slip in. The light was so dim at this time of night that it took a moment for him to realize that it was Tessa standing there in her night gown just as her had seen her that night she had wandered into Jem's room. The sight of her took his breathe away, made his heart skip a beat or two or three and for a moment he could only stare.

"Tessa," he finally breathed.

"I couldn't sleep," she replied so quietly that it was almost a whisper.

He saw then that she was gripping something, a book, to her chest as if it were the most precious thing in the world. Wondering what book it was this time, if it was one of her old favorites or a new one she had found he tried to see the title, but the light was too dim.

Seeing his attempt Tessa turned the book around and held it out to him. The cover read Vathek. Will felt his heart speed up and his eyes widen.

"I finished it."

"What did you think?"

Tessa, looking down at the book said, "Vathek loses everyone and everything because of his own selfishness and in the end he has to face everything he did and he is burdened with the knowledge that he could have been happier and has to live with how he treated everyone for all of eternity. I don't know who could withstand that. It was a very tragic book."

"He must have had his reasons to treat people the way he did humans are not evil without reason," Will said his voice a little more forceful than he had intended.

"Then what is your reason," Tessa asked bluntly and without a blink.

Will looked at her with shock. Tessa had always been honest sometimes her honesty was brutal, but never had she said he was evil, evil to the core for no reason. Sure he had been mean to her and pushed her away but he had always hoped that she had known that there was a reason for his anger and snide comments a reason that he kept everyone at arm's length. "Tess I…" Will's voice sounded ragged as he tried to find the words to make her understand how he felt.

Shock and remorse began to fill Tessa's face as the reality of what she had just said sunk in. She sank down on the edge of the bed, looked at him and in a voice that matched her face desperate to make him understand said, "Will, I didn't mean! I know that you have had a hard life I just want to know what broke you, why you push everyone away. I know you can love and care I see the way you treat Jem, but why is it only him?"

"Tessa I can't-"

"Yes you can you have to share at some point or your secrets will eat you up and you will end up no better than Vathek. I will never tell," Tessa was looking at him with wide innocent eyes eager to help him. She was holding out her hand to him and he was going to have to slap it away like he had done so many times before. Why would she not stay away and take a hint? Then it hit him maybe if he told her the truth she would run from him scared for her own life after he told her of Ella and the painful end that he caused her maybe she would leave him and be safe.

"Tessa, you cannot tell anyone what I am about to tell you not Jem not Charlotte not anyone," he pleaded with his words and eyes. At some point, he was not so sure when, he had come to sit beside Tessa on the bed and was now looking into her beautiful stormy eyes. The two weren't touching but he could feel her smell her he wanted to reach out and touch her, but refused knowing that once he did he could not hurt her as he needed to.

Her eyes held the surprise she felt at Will agreeing to open up to her and the slight nod she gave was enough for Will and he began. He told her of the pyxis and the demon that was released and cursed him so that anyone who loves him will die. He told her of Ella and how she died soon after a terrible death, he described the awful deformation of her body and how he fled to the institute and has kept everyone at a distance ever since then.

Will had been staring at his hands which were resting on his lap though he didn't see them he saw Cicely, his father and mother and Ella standing before the demon with a Seraph Blade protecting him, only to die that night. He tore his gaze away and looked up at Tessa's face. It held everything she was thinking. Her face was as open as the books she so loved and he could see the shock which turned into sorrow and pity. He waited on the panic and hatred and fear to set in but it never came, not so much as a bit of fear.

"Will," Tessa said her voice dripping with pity.

"Tessa don't you get it," Will said desperate to make her understand, "you have to stop leave me alone hate me never talk to me again I don't care just don't care for me not even as a friend we can never be anything you will die and I could not live with that because… because I love you." He hadn't intended to say that he had wanted to say anything but that, but his heart had taken control and he saw her face, surprised and lacking the fear he had wanted to put there.

"Will," Tessa said his name with such conviction that it silenced him from trying to retract what he had just said, "Will, don't you know that I have loved you, I have loved you since the moment I wacked you over the head with a vase even though I didn't know it at the time. I am not scared of you. Just because you push me away doesn't mean I can just stop loving you. You could leave and never see me again but I would still love you. It doesn't matter what you do I can't box up my love for you and make it go away. What happens to me happens to me let us be together."

She reached her hand up and ran it through his hair resting it on the back of his neck. She leaned in and before he could stop her and comprehend what she had said she was pulling him in. his common sense screamed no but everything else in his body screamed yes. He finally gave in to his desires their lips just inches apart and-

Will opened his eyes. He was alone in his room lying on top of his covers still dressed from diner that night. He sat up and the dream washed over him, Tessa and Vathek, the curse. He stopped he could never tell her anything he knew that his dream could never come true they could never be together and that thought crushed him. He swung himself out of bed as he thought of Vathek who had lost "the most precious gift granted by heaven – HOPE" and walked out of the room leaving his dreams and his hopes behind him.


End file.
